Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Thoughts on Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mother

This is a memoir type book written by a Amy Chua who believed in raising her children in a very strict "chinese style" way.   Apparently an exerpt was published in a magazine that started a controversy...however I think anyone who reads the full book has a better sense of her and her humour and its not as controversial as people make it seem. 

 It was an easy read, I read it in one night.   Her writing style is direct and to the point, no flowery language for her :)  
Overall I liked it.  I would recommend it to anyone who was interested in reading it. 
I was mildly surprised that I agreed with her many many times, but disagreed at the extreme extent at which she went at times. I guess like anything, moderation is the key :)




My list of things I liked

1)  "assume strength not fragility"

2)  "One of the worst things you can do for your child's self esteem is to let them give up."

3)  "There's nothing better for building confidence than learning you can do something you thought you couldn't"

4)  "To get good at anything you have to work"

5)  "Family stays together...you support your sisters"





I think it is admirable at the amount of time and effort she spends with and for her children.   Whether people like or dislike her parenting style, I believe that any story is an opportunity to learn...and I like the message that kids need to learn that through hard work they can be successful,  and that hard work is hard, it is not fun, and you have to work hard even when you don't want to.    I think the confidence that kids gain from something they worked very hard for is so much more valuable than just empty words from parents telling their kids "they can do it".

I also think that alot of parents don't give their kids enough credit.  Kids in general are capable of so much more.  Whining and complaining is natural, but it doesn't mean they can't do it, and with some positive support from parents, they can do it.  I think Amy Chua describes well that getting kids to do more is not fun for the parents either, so in essence, the parents can't give up either.

If you are interested, her daugther Sophia. has started a blog.




It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself. ~Joyce Maynard

1 comment:

  1. I love this book review, can't wait wait to pick up the book.

    I absolutely agree with this line: "I think the confidence that kids gain from something they worked very hard for is so much more valuable than just empty words from parents telling their kids "they can do it".

    Instilling confidence in children is SO very important, but leaving them with a sense of false confidence can hurt them in the future. It's a fine balance.

    Also like the reminder that "parents can't give up either".

    Great post!

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